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36 weeks and in denial

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Jessica Kim

posted in Mom Stories

Please tell me that you have been in this situation. You get the BabyCenter weekly email and that's the only way you know how far along you are. What?! 36 weeks? When did that happen?

I can finally admit that I have been in major denial that this baby is actually coming out. What did I think? That the baby would just stay inside? #painful

This pregnancy was so different from the very beginning. Previously, I never understood when people were upset to find out that they were pregnant. How could they be upset? Having a baby is such a beautiful blessing. So many people are struggling to have a baby. It cannot be taken for granted. I felt that way for so long...until I experienced the unexpected.

One week I was completely exhausted. It was as if a heavy blanket was thrown over me and someone put a sleeping spell on me at 7pm. I had just experienced a hectic summer in Chicago going through an incubator experience to launch the BabbaBox business. It's a 3-month program to establish your idea and launch. My husband was in Seattle at that time for work, so I moved into my friend's house living in one room with 2 kids (Kayla was 4 and Grant was 1 at that time) without Peter there all summer. The program was a success and we got funded, but then I moved to Boston immediately after. It was about 3 weeks into the move when I discovered this.

I was devastated. I immediately ran into bed and cried. I was so shocked. I knew I had so much to do in front of me. I was looking forward to just settling in for a bit. But, God had other plans. Two weeks before this happened, Peter and I literally put away ALL infant stuff to donate to Goodwill. We jointly decided that we were happy with 2 kids - final answer.

Fast forward to being 36 weeks. I went to the OB and she told me that I was 1cm dilated. What?! Wait. This baby is actually starting to come out? With both kids, I wasn't even 1cm dilated after my water broke and contractions started. I guess baby #3 will be coming out earlier than the others. For those of you with 3 kids, is this true? Please let me know!

This made it finally 'real' to me - the news that I'm 1cm dilated, the fact that my kids kiss the "baby brotha" every morning, and the proof in my waddling. I look back at the 8 months and I can't believe a baby has been growing in me this whole time. Of course, I avoided the coffee, wine, sushi, etc. I was cognizant of being pregnant, but I didn't let it sink in. Until now.

I get it now. I can understand how an unexpected pregnancy is different in the beginning. But, it's truly a blessing and I am so grateful the baby is healthy. From this point on, I will never take a moment for granted. Okay...now, it's time for me to get all the essentials since I gave everything away. That'll be my next post: the minimalist "must have" essentials list. Thanks for letting me share openly.

 

Jessica Kim, CEO/Founder of BabbaCo.com. Monthly subscription of BabbaBoxes full of enriching activities, projects, book, and digital downloads.


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